(Source: http://www.vepachedu.org/lingpurana.htm)


Vamana Purana

When naked Lord Shiva was wandering in the Daruvanam forest, the wives of sages lost self control for Lord Shiva was the most beautiful and attractive man and they at once were seduced by the Lord. The sages who failed to recognize the Lord thought he was an ordinary immortal and cursed him: May the Lingam (penis) of this man fall to the ground! That instant the Lingam of Shiva fell to the ground, and the God immediately disappeared. The Lingam, as it fell, penetrated through the earth to the lower worlds and increased in height until it towered above the heavens. The earth quaked, all things movable and immovable agitated. Brahma and Vishnu then decided to find the ends of the great Lingam, while Vishnu mounted on Garuda descended down and Brahma on his lotus ascended the heavens. They returned to where they started unable to find the ends of the great Lingam, and with great reverence and praise they requested Lord Shiva to resume his Lingam. Lord Shiva thus propitiated appeared and said: If gods and men will worship, I will resume it. To this proposal Brahma and Vishnu and all other Gods agreed and since then the Lingam is worshipped by all.


Shiva Purana

On falling in consequence of the sages’ curse, the Lingam became like fire, and caused a conflagration wherever it penetrated; the three worlds were distressed, and as neither Gods nor sages could find rest, they hastened for protection to Brahma. Having heard them relate all that happened, Brahma replied, “After having committed knowingly a reprehensible act, why say that it was done unknowingly? Every one shall reap the fruit of his good or bad actions, and the Lingam therefore shall not cease to distress the worlds until the God resumes it. Propitiate by adoration the mountain-born Goddess, and she will assume the form of Yoni (vagina) and receive the Lingam, by which means only it can be rendered innocuous.

After obtaining the consent of Parvati, form a vessel of eight kinds of leaves, place in it boiled rice and sacred plants, having it filled with holy water, consecrate with proper prayers and invocations, and with water repeating at the same time suitable prayers, sprinkle the Lingam. After Parvati receives the Lingam in her Yoni, you erect and consecrate the form of Lingam in the Yoni. By worshipping it with offerings of flowers, perfumes and such things, by kindling lamps before it, and by singing music propitiate Maheswara and he will forgive you.” As per Brahma’s instructions, the Gods and sages sought the assistance of Parvati. Parvati received in her Yoni the Lingam and appeased its consuming fire. In commemoration of this event the worship of Lingam was instituted.


Lainga Purana

Brahma said to angels, “When I sprang into existence, I beheld the mighty Narayana reposing on the abyss of waters, and, being under the influence of delusion, awakened him with my hand and addressed him: ‘who art thou that thus slumberest on this terrible ocean?’ Hari awoke dispelling sleep from his lotus eyes, looked upon me and then arising said, ‘Welcome, welcome O Pitamaha, my dear son!’ On hearing the first of the Gods speak, I confined within the bonds of the quality of impurity, replied: why dost thou say, my dear son? For know me to be eternal god, the universal spirit, the creator, the preserver and the destroyer of the three worlds.’ He immediately answered, “Hear the truth, Oh four faced! And learn that it is I who am the creator, the preserver, and the destroyer, how canst thou forget Narayana the self-existent and eternal Being?’ hence arose terrible combat amidst the waters of the deluge, where to appease the contest and recall us to our senses, appeared a Lingam blazing like a thousand suns. Bewildered by its radiant beams, Hari thus said to me lost in amazement, ‘I will proceed downwards in order to ascertain the termination of this wondrous column of fire, do thou, O lord, proceed upwards and seek for its top.’ Having thus spoken he assumed the form of a boar, and I that of a swan, and we both proceeded in our search for four thousand years, but being unable to ascertain its termination, we then returned back wearied and disappointed. Thus still under influence of delusion, we prostrated ourselves before the Lingam, and were reflecting on what it could be. Then we heard a voice saying Om, Om, Om- and shortly after appeared Shiva in the midst of that column of fire. In commemoration of this event therefore was the worship of Lingam instituted.”


Scanda Purana and Visva-Sara-Prakasha

One day naked Mahadeva with a club in his hand chanced to pass by near a place where several sages were performing their devotions. Mahadeva laughed at them, insulted and provoked them with gestures and signs. The sages cursed him and his Lingam or Phallus fell to the ground. Mahadeva in this state of mutilation traveled over the world bewailing his misfortune and his consort Parvati ran after him singing mournful songs. (In Greek mythology this is called wanderings of Demeter and lamentations of Bacchus) The world thus stopped procreation and came to a standstill. Gods and men searched for the sacred Lingam and found it grown to an immense size. They cut it with hatchets into thirty-one pieces that became perfect Lingams. The Gods left twenty-one on earth and took nine to heaven and removed one to netherworld.

Shaivites insits that Kaba is one of the twenty-one places on earth. Arabian authors opine that Lingas were worshipped all over Arabia. According to many sources the first phallus was erected on the banks of Euphrates and was known as Balef-Wara-Linga.

Know thy religion.......

Shivalinga (Shivling) explained......
(http://www.gurjari.net/ico/Mystica/html/shivalinga.htm)

Linga means "sign, mark, or symbol". It also refers to a digging implement or plough. Since the plough readies the earth for insemination, the word linga is also applied to the phallus, particularly as the phallic emblem of Shiva. Though Shiva is considered the destroyer (Trimurti) according to Hindu belief, creation (Srishti) follows destruction. The linga is therefore associated with the sexual union of Shiva and Parvati, which results in creation. It is a symbol of the procreative power of the universe.
Linga is derived from the Sanskrit word lingam, which comes from li meaning, "to dissolve" and gam "to move on". This refers to the belief that one appears as a being in the world and then dissolves back into the universe.

A Shivalinga is phallus-shaped and fixed on a base, which is shaped like a yoni. The structure symbolises the supreme creative energy. It is usually made of stone but can also be of wood, metal, crystal, and soapstone.

There are various explanations as to why the linga represents Shiva. According to the Vamana Purana, after Sati's death, Shiva went to mourn in the forest. Seeing the virile god, the wives of the sages living in the forest were enamoured and followed Shiva around. Enraged, the sages cursed Shiva, causing his phallus to fall off. The moment it touched the ground, his phallus started growing. Soon the earth, unable to support its weight, began quivering. When Brahma and Vishnu realised why the earth was shaking, they requested Shiva to take back his phallus. Shiva consented to do so on the condition that the sages worshipped his phallus. He pronounced that nothing would be impossible for one who worshipped the Shivalinga.


The Linga Purana says that Brahma and Vishnu were once arguing over who was the supreme being. Suddenly, there appeared Sivalinga before them a huge column of fire. Both of them decided to find one end each. Whoever returned first would be acknowledged as supreme. Vishnu assumed the form of a boar and dug into the earth. Brahma, in the form of a swan, flew upwards. They searched for days but in vain. Then Shiva appeared in the fiery column. Brahma and Vishnu realised their mistake and acknowledged Shiva as the Supreme Being. The Shivalinga represents that column of fire Jyotirlinga

The phallic cult appears to have been prevalent in India since the Indus Valley Civilisation (c. 3000 BC - 700 BC). Emblems resembling the linga and yoni have been discovered in excavations of ancient cities. Although the Vedas are contemptuous of the linga because of its association with the phallus, later literature like the Puranas and tantric texts laud phallic worship. According to these texts, Brahma, Vishnu and other gods live at the site where Shiva exists in the form of a linga. The Vamana Purana says that during Chaturmasya, Shiva sleeps in all lingas. Therefore, praying at any linga during this time is considered especially auspicious. It is believed that the land within 100 cubits (about 160 ft) of a linga is very sacred and called Shivasthala.

There are approximately 30 million lingas in temples and shrines all over India. Most of them are named after the place where they are located or after the person who established them there. Lingas fall into three categories. The first are the Anadi or Svayambhu, or self-generated lingas. They are believed to be the most sacred and are said to have fallen from heaven. Next are the Sithavara, or fixed lingas. These are crafted and then, after an initiation ceremony done according to Puranic rites, installed at a sacred location. It is believed that once a linga is installed, it should never be moved as that would result in a calamity. The third category of lingas are the Jangam, or movable lingas. These are the miniature lingas, which are made of stone, clay, metal, or other material. They are worn as amulets and necklaces, or worshipped in the homes of Shiva's devotees.

The actual worship of the Shivalinga begins with bathing it, first with water mixed with earth, and then with water mixed with the Panchagavya. The linga is then smeared with sandalwood paste. Next, flowers and leaves are offered especially bel leaves. Next comes the arati, followed by the devotee's prayer. Shiva is believed to be very hot-tempered: bathing the linga and applying sandalwood paste are believed to soothe him.

THE PROBLEM OF FOOD ADULTERATION IN NATIONAL CAPITAL

By Chaudhary Sandeep Datta

Even if the food adulteration problem is steadily becoming talk of the town in the national capital, the Government of Delhi finds it not as big as something to be described as ‘plaguing the city’ or ‘rampant’.

The officials related to food adulteration department are tight-lipped, as they have been directed not to speak (read expose) about anything that may facilitate things for the government to keep it a low-key issue.

“The problem of (adulteration) is actually coming from other States, although most of the samples, especially of milk products, we have got it checked in the laboratories of the reputed Shri Ram Institute………we have also carried out unprecedented surprise checks to the check the menace,” said Kiran Walia, Delhi’s Minister for Health.

“The Central law (under Food Safety and Standards Act, 2006) is coming and because that’s going to be applicable on entire country, we don’t think there is need for us to bring any separate law. However, I believe we will be the first state to implement it. We have started the process,” said Walia informed.

Meanwhile, high officials of the department say the food adulteration problem in Delhi is not so rampant actually.

“We haven’t found as such rampant cases of adulteration. Well, there were some cases of polished or coloured pulses. But we haven’t found mixing of synthetic in milk. However, we did come across some case of adulterated milk due to mixing of water or a few cases of fat extraction from butter and milk,” said an official.

“Food Standard and Safety Act 2006 has been approved by the Parliament and President of India. Rule and regulations under it are still being made. Once it is done, it will be applied. Currently, the present PFA Act has provision of six month imprisonment and Rs.1,000 as fine which can be exceeded to any undefined limit and it may depend upon the discretion of the judiciary while looking into the particular case,” the official said.

“Any consumer can get any food article tested by the Department by paying a fee of Rs.1,000 and in case of commercial party (i.e. company) it can be done by paying Rs.5,000 as fee,” he added.

“Recently some of the cases of adulterated Khoya were brought to the department’s notice by a private news channel, but nothing adulterated in them was found in them,” said the senior official requesting anonymity as he is not supposed to speak officially.

Reality Check..

Just like it is said all that glitters is not gold, something similar can be said about fruits, pulses or milk or milk products available at various retail shops in Delhi. The ground reality seems somewhat different from official version of reality ahead of 2010 Commonwealth Games.

“Fruit colouring can be noticed in various markets. The fruits’ harvest often remains in its natural form or unadulterated in villages. By the time it is shifted from wholesellers to retailers and then in the hands of actual consumer, many a times it is found having artificial shine. At some places, the fruits are washed in detergent powder (like in Chandni Chowk) or cheap refined oil is applied on them to keep the glowing and look fresh,” said a Food Inspector, requesting anonymity for not being officially authorized to speak to media.

“As the household ladies tend to get drawn to buy pulses that have a bit of shine, the shopkeepers or wholesellers or stockiest ensure they supply what draws customers,” he added.

“There is no such particular area for adulteration of food products, as it depends upon the location of any thing’s manufacturing point or at time the big whole seller. Usually, the adulteration is done in those items that have big margin of profit. The adulteration is most often done at manufacturing and wholesellers’ point,” the Food Inspector further revealed.

“Not much can be done to address the problem of adulteration, as it remains an old competition between the police and thieves. The more we try, the more they turn creative or cunning in applying methods for adulteration. The problem, as it affects even our families too, can be curbed with an intensified awareness drive for general household,” said another Food Inspector.

Houswives speak….

“Haven’t you seen news channels? Are they talking about food adulteration occurring at another planet? Be it synthetic curd, milk products, polished pulses, immaturely ripened fruits that taste bitter despite their good appearance are available in almost all markets and hawkers are making good money, befooling us everyday. Haven’t you come across duplicate cold drinks at local shops?,” said ………, a housewife in Malka Ganj, North Delhi.

“So many people’s health or perhaps lives have been saved due to timely expose` of adulterated sweets ahead of Diwali, the biggest festival of Hindus known for sweets and fireworks. None of our relatives gifted milk-based sweets on Diwail this time. Instead, dry fruits and chocolates were exchanged as gifts. The shopkeepers suffered big losses, still you are saying there is nothing rampantly wrong?,” said Latta Sharma, a housewife in Chhattarpur, South Delhi.

Meanwhile, the public information issued by the Director (Prevent of Food Adulteration)/ Commissioner of Food Safety states to the purchasers of articles of foods in Delhi……Both the Prevention of Food Adulteration Act, 1954 and the upcoming Food Safety and Standards Act, 2006 assign certain functions to the law enforcing set up i.e. particularly the Food Inspectors and the Local (health) Authorities, etc. both the Acts have empowered a purchaser also to take a sample of an article of food.

The right under Section 12 of the P.F.A. Act 1954 can be exercised by following the same procedure as is prescribed for the food inspectors.

Meanwhile, as a part of initiatives at the headquarters of the department….Free of cost, spot demonstration tests, for all the people of 20 articles/types have been started to be carried out at the headquarters, located at Delhi’s Lawrence Road.

The list of articles includes milk, milkproducts; paneer, khoya, milk made sweets, ice cream curd, Besan, curd, Ghee, mustard oil, Chilli powder, Haldi powder, Garma Masala/ Dhania powder, flour, etc., Pulses, Rai, Powdered Hing, Tea Leaves, Sela rice, Jaggery, Honey, Pieces/ powder of Supari, Saunf.

These can be tested for factors like quantity or presence of starch (like in Milik or milk products), Kesari Dal (for Besan), colour, Til oil (for Ghee), unpermitted colour, Argemone oil (for mustard oil), Clay (inorganic matter) (for spices), Metani yellow colour (for Sela rice), Caustic soda (for jaggery) sugar/water (like in Honey).


With effect from Nov.11, 2008, the Delhi High Court has made the designated court for the cases under the P.F.A. Act 1954 as an exclusive one, this is believed to lessen the time taken in the judicial proceedings to a large extent. As the punishment provided under this Act extends from the minimum of six months imprisonment to maximum of the life imprisonment.

It further informs the public that direction has been issued to all the hotels and restaurants in Delhi for display of the brown or green dots on the receptacles or containers of the non vegetarian or vegetarian foods.

Directions have repeatedly been given to the Sub-Divisional Local (Health) Authority i.e. the present Sub-Divisional Magistrate for taking action against artificial ripening of fruits and artificial colouring of vegetables, effectively.

The department, in any case, wants to be ready to implement the upcoming implementation of the Food Safety and Standards Act 2006.

Moreover, as per the Directorate office, purchaser can have food analysed…..By following the procedure as prescribed for a food inspector under the supervision of the Sub Divisional Magistrate (LHA), a purchaser can also take sample of article of food and get the same analysed on payment of a fee of Rs. 1000 per sample at the food laboratory of the Department there is a provision to refund the fee in case the sample is reported by the public analyst as adulterated.

The department states that no person shall sell powered spices and condiments except under packed condition.

In Delhi, sale, offer for sale, the exposure for sale of all mustard oil in loose form i.e. in unpacked packages for human consumption is prohibited.


At present, some of the penalties prescribed under the Prevention of Food Adulteration (P.F.A) Act, 1954

SectionOffencePenalty prescribed

16 (1)Importing into India or manufacturing for sale or storing selling or distributing adulterated food.Six months to three years and fine not less than Rs.1,000.
16 (1)Misbranding of food articlesThree months to two years and fine not less that Rs.5,000
16 (1A)Importing into India or manufacturing for sale or storing selling or distributing adulterated food which is injurious. One year to six years and find not less than Rs.2,000.
16 (1A)Importing into India or manufacturing for sale or storing or distributing adulterated food which is likely to cause death or grievous hurt.Three years to life imprisonment and fine not less that Rs.5,000.



The Parliament of India has enacted the Food Safety and Standards Act,2006 which will be replacing the existing food laws and is to be implemented in due course of time.

The implementing authority of the same will generally remain the same under the PFA Act except for the specific new activities which will be performed by different office bearers.


You Must Know…

Under the Prevention of Food Adulteration 1955, Act…..

Notwithstanding the provisions of Rule 43, no person shall either by himself or by any servant or agent, sell:

a) cream whch has not been prepared exclusively from milk or which contains less than 25 per cent of milk fat

b) milk containing any added matter no exclusively derived from milk fat

c) Ghee containing any added matter not exclusively derived from milk fat
d) skimmed milk (fat abstracted) as milk
e) a mixture of two or more edible oils as an edible oil
f) vanaspati to which ghee or any other substance has been added
g) turmeric containing any foreign substance
h) mixture of coffee and any other substance except chicory
i) Curd, not prepared from boiled, pasteurized or sterlised milk

Other prohibitions include…. Labels not to use words, implying or suggesting recommendation by medical profession

A label should not contain any statement, claim, design, device, fancy name, or abbreviation which is false or misleading about food contained or quantity or nutritive value in the package.

No person shall sell or offer or expose for sale or have in his premises for the purpose of sale under any description the fruits which may have been artificially ripened by use of acetylene gas, commonly know as carbide gas.
--
Regards
Chaudhary Sandeep Datta

(I enjoyed re-writing this story taken from rediff.com)


A brave girl saves bullet-riddled brother’s life in a Naxal attack

Dantewada (Chhattisgarh): Even as Naxals continue to carry out atrocities on innocent villagers in Chhattisgarh to spread terror to prove their dominance against the government establishment, many incidents of bravery and resilience which occur in day to day life remain untold.

In one such incident, a 14-year-old girl bravely saved her younger brother's life after he was hit by bullets by Naxals when they attacked her home in Chhattisgarh.

Abhijit, the boy, survived a fierce attack when his home in Nakulnar area of Chhattisgarh's Dantewada district came under fire from about 100 to 150 Naxals.

His uncle and another acquaintance died in the attack.

It so happened that on the night of July 7, Abhijit Gautam's family was asleep after celebrating his elder sister Anjali's birthday. She turned 14 that day. They were woken up with bullets and grenades after midnight.

His father, mother and brother fled to the first floor of the house, while Abhijit, his sister and grandmother were trapped in a room on the ground floor.

"They wanted my father. I did not tell them where he was. They also wanted his gun. I knew where the gun was, but I hid it under a bedsheet," says Abhijit.

The battle lasted three hours on that fateful night.

Narrating his experience, Abhijit says: "It was dark in the room. The firing from outside destroyed almost everything -- tiles, glass, lights, tables... The bullet hit my thigh, one injured my knee. In the dark I am not sure whether they could see who they were firing at, they were firing from all sides. I've heard Naxals don't kill children. I was bleeding so heavily -- you could fill half a bucket with the blood flowing out of my wounds," says Abhijit.

He tells how his sister, Anjali, a standard nine student, helped his survive that night.

She tied her brother's bleeding legs with a bedsheet, carried him on her back and ran out of the house that was under siege.

Anjali did not stop till she reached their uncle's house, half a kilometre from their home.


Police constable Narsingnath Yadav, one of those on guard duty at the house that night, was surprised to see that little girl’s courage, as he tells: "I saw her run out from my position on the first floor, "She was carrying him on her back and there was firing taking place from the gate. I asked her where she was going and she said she was taking him to their uncle's house."

"Didi should get the President's award for her bravery that night, " says Abhijit.

Anjali was lucky enough to have not suffered any harm to her body during the incident. Today, her father believes that the children will overcome the trauma of that night with the passage of time.

The children’s father Avdesh Singh Gautam says that his son showed so much bravery that night while the courage of his daughter saved his son’s life.

“She was adamant about getting him out of there inspite of the grave danger -- such is the power of a sister's love for a brother,” says Gautam.

"They were children and yet my son got hit by five bullets. He was bleeding and the Naxals wanted to know where his papa was. No one is talking about our human rights," says Abhijit’s father Avdhesh Singh Gautam.

Gautam has been a former vice president of the Kuwakonda Janpad panchayat for three terms (15 years). His wife Pushpa was recently elected vice president.

A member of the Congress party, he refutes his reported association with Mahendra Karma, Chhattisgarh's former home minister who launched the Salwa Judum tribal militia against the Naxalites, and denied being involved in any anti-Naxal activity that would make him their target.

He says that he has lived and worked with the tribals in his area. The Naxals don't like his popularity with tribals.

“I was also attacked by an AK-47 in July 2008. Some CPI (Communist Party of India) workers aligned with the Naxals are against me," he alleges.

The family observed the 13th day of the death ceremony of the passing away of their relative three days ago.

O mere Pind di Kuri........

I always wondered how it would feel if I came across anything from my previous birth or someone of my roots in Pakistan. While thinking of all this I always imagined it could only be some old person meeting me by chance and mentioning about the stories of my ancestors or his or her being known to them.

With the passage of time, when I turned 30, I lost all hope of coming across any such person. As in any eventuality that person would be over 90 to recall that time and mention it to me. The bleak possibility kept diminishing further in the last four years.

But i never knew He was keeping a track of my internal thoughts. And, here comes a girl in her early twenties mentioning something I couldn't believe for a moment. During my chatroom talks, we mentioned about our roots. And, she asked me the specific name of my ancestral village in Pakistan. I said it's "Kanjrur Dattan", as I was told by my late father.

She was surprised to hear this name, as she had it from her mother too. Suddenly, she went to her mother and returned with an pleasant reply: "My Nana ji belonged to the same village". Oh my my my...!! I couldn't believe that I could relate someone so loving, affectionate and caring to me for last so many years like that.

I had always asked her that I didn't know what fascinated me to talk to her always. She always took it like leg-pulling or a oft-repeated joke mentioned just like that. But that day both of us had found out the reason behind it. I was ecstatic and she was delighted too.

She promised me to visit my place and talk to my mother about our past. And, how we are related to each other at the roots. I developed a new sense of fascination for her presence in my life. I feel as if I have actually found someone from my past that I can relate to beyond relations with joy forever. Now, I affectionately call her 'mere Pind di Kuri.......:)

'Look-good', a phenomena men have largely failed to understand
(un-edited)
'Looking good' phenomena may have influenced the human kind since the age of Adam and Eve, but surely it has failed to die mainly because of the women community at large.

Even as women have always spent lot of mind, energy and money on 'looking good' , most of the boys have been found wanting. At least in women or girls' comparison.

Even if there maybe so much truth revealed in various of books on human psychology, the fact remains that women love to live like women and men as men. Most of them, if not all, have failed to benefit from the knowlege widely and openly available all around.

Good looks including maintaining a good hygeine or dressing to the occasion are just some of the most important things of winning hearts in abundance. But still many of the boys or married men, in particular, fail to learn it on time when it could matter a lot.

Utppal Chatterjee, Amol Palekar starrer film of ...........the .....70s or 80s revealed a lot about the lacunaes of men's personality and thankfully taught a lot to the ordinary men folk on how to improve. it may be some new Bollywood movies in future also point out this aspect of men's personality very prominently for some change, but it still remains a fact that boys have yet to realise the significance of 'looking good' as much as the girls or women of the day have realised it so deeply.

To be continued......

Private pictures and pornographic websites

By Sandeep Datta

While spending a good time with our loved ones or better half, most of us go so lost that we ignore some of the basic precautions, which may make us fall victim to any notorious intention in future. Getting clicked by camera in carefree postures is one such blunder.

A lot of married couples or lovebirds usually click each other for the sake of storing an unforgettable loving moment. But not many of them know how their private photographs start circulating on various pornographic websites.

Living in the Internet-age, none of us can afford to turn ignorant to dangerous of misue of photos even if it puts at state passionate moments or a romantic mood. Otherwise, the results could be fatal or cause lifetime personal embarrassment before entire family including children.

Today, there are many Internet websites carrying lakhs of family pictures and MMS of private moments, most probably, stolen or copy-pasted from personal computers of anyone of us. Don’t get shocked if you find anyone of your family members’ photo posted.

We need to remember, the computers are not the safest place. Somebody could be stealing everything out of it without our knowledge.

One of the risk zones is keeping such pictures in our personal computers instead of private CDs. The minute our computers go for mending, we are at the mercy of local engineers who may copy our titillating pictures for fun. It is these pictures that often end up appearing on porn websites. But most of the time we tend to avoid using brains.

MMS scandals, objectionable pictures, stalkers and blackmailers are well known facts of today’s love life. They can happen to anyone and anywhere. But like a stitch in time saves nine proverbs by being careful on right time we can save ourselves from personal ignominy for lifetime.

Despite being reported in various dailies or electronic media, not many of us are realizing the gravity of the problem. It is only these carefree individuals whose intimate pictures as love birds or honeymooners reach the adult websites. But do we still play safe?

We need to safeguard ourselves from becoming somebody's mediocre fun? We cannot commit a hara-kiri just when our loved ones’ life is at stake. We can circulate such trends and their implications by word of mouth or other communications.

We should be able to differentiate individuals showing respect to our feelings or simply playing with them for time pass.

Hundreds of MMS or photographs available on various websites these days do state a lot about the mindset of several notorious or revengeful minds. Such pictures, either clicked by questioning one’s integrity in lover or other tricks, only show the dangers of ‘blind’ love.

Once trapped, there is hardly any choice except approaching police for damage control. But why not behave a little intelligently by not getting into such traps at the first place?

The “who cares” attitude may look a stylish phrase, but it's dangers are seriously suicidal in the computer and cell-phone-age.

‘Honour killings’ a scar on civilized society

By Chaudhary Sandeep Datta

Living in today’s world where the proverbial thin line between love and lust seems fast vanishing, many Indian villages are cautious on attempts that threaten their family values and reputation being eroded by individuals’ amorous urge.

Though largely disapproving any justification given in support of taking extreme steps like ‘Honour Killings’, one can feel there’s a tacit approval in many villages for stringent measures to safeguard the ancestral village culture and family life.

The Panchayat that often comprise the wisest men of all communities residing in a village also finds itself too restricted to act justifiably against barbarism when the perpetrators cite the compelling reason being family and village’s pride.

Honour killing depends upon the nature of crime and families involved. In case of objectionable relations, the entire village may get driven to support it. Any aggressive or illiterate family may see killing the guilty couple or person as the only option to bring end to the matter. But any restrained or non-aggressive family may expel or disown the guilty member in same circumstances.

Besides, there are also politically motivated killings or for dictating one’s upmanship. But it is also true that, in case of a boy, the family asks him to mend his ways. In case of a girl, the same family’s preferred approach can be or is generally quite harsh.

“There have been instances at different villages where brothers killed their guilty sister and the father committed suicide out of shame. Some of the families, eager to demonstrate their muscle power, settle objectionable relations-related matters by killing their daring member. But other families, not having that much guts or mindset, would marry off the guilty person to some far off place to keep their family reputation intact and also keep the problem child away,” said Chaudhary Azad Singh Bidhuri of Jasola Village near Apollo Hospital in Delhi, while adding that usually, honour killing is a collective decision.

Honour killings are often done to set precedence and scare anyone daring to spoil village culture which disapproves relations not based on the unwritten village guidelines or any relation that may show village in poor light.

“No way the ‘honour killings’ can be justified in today’s world. Instead there could be social boycott of any unwanted person. Actually, such acts are generally taken to set a trend mostly by the most illiterate people. It’s also true that it is usually done as a family decision. I don’t believe any Panchayat comprising men of wisdom can be party to such a heinous act. If it has to take such a decision, it is only under intense social pressure of the village. But often it is the family concerned which resorts to prove its faith in ‘reputation’ by going so barbaric and killing their own flesh and blood,” Yudhweer Singh Chauhan, a freelance journalist and resident of Jasola Village.

In villages, there are many unwritten rules that include marrying in only specified villages, not conducting marriage within one’s own village as girls and boys of a village should treat each other as part of one joint family and thus behave like brothers and sisters, respecting the village way of life and abiding by Panchayat’s wisdom.

Anyone found going against its way of life and reputation is debarred from society, the family supporting the person also faces social boycott by villagers.

“We need to understand our villages exist as a structure where people have been living since generations with family elders. In cities, people have started living together though they originally belong to different places. So, in cities, people have no sense of attachment with each other’s family but in villages it does exist,” said Chaudhary Surinder Singh Bidhuri, resident.

“Parents of any marriageable person, in cities, often evaluate a family’s goodwill by its wealth. But, in villages, it is not the money but one’s existing reputation and goodwill in the society that earns him social respect,” Bidhuri added.

Another unwritten rule in village system is to settle issues including cases related to betrayal in money-lending, property disputes, social relations or love marriages in objectionable castes or relations have to be solved within the village’s Panchayat. Anyone going against the Panchayat’s verdict and getting approval from courts as per law instead of village culture, risks a social boycott.

“Even if the court gives its decision in favour of a person or couple, in cases related to love marriages or other social issues, the person or persons involved is socially boycotted. He stays in the village but is not allowed to participate in any social function. He has to live on his own till the boycott continues. It is only after a public apology after some years that he is given consideration to be included back socially in village,” Chaudhary Raghubir Singh Nambardar of Jasola Village.

For villagers, their old way of life remains the supreme thing. Their accepted norms and rituals defining its culture are abiding for everyone residing here.

“Anyone found contradicting village culture has to leave the place and live elsewhere as per his wished lifestyle. If denied, he or she faces expulsion either from the village or social boycott for his of her entire family for rest of the life at times,” Ch. Raghubir added.

“Anyone getting involved in any illicit relation, in a marriage relation or before that is prohibited to live in the village. Anyone seeking approval of his way of thinking or logic through court is often left alone in the village. One can live but cannot be part of the village as its member. For, the society in village doesn’t embrace such a person anymore and hence the social boycott,” said Chaudhary Jagansingh Pradhan of Jasola Village.

“A marital relation based on village culture gets acceptance and is also protected from falling apart. When need arrives, the rights of the wife are first protected by village elders and the man is expelled from the village,” said Chaudhary Moolchand Nambardar of Jasola.

In villages, Panchayat’s decision is the ultimate for all. It is usually in urbanized village that the concerned parties can seek refuge from the courts on being disappointed by Panchayat’s decision.

Though no civilized society can approve killing in the name of foolish honour but it’s also a fact that when any consensus-based request is presented for approval before the Panchayat or any authority in the world, it is respected at times. It cannot be outright ignored. In many villages, there have been incidents when the matter was brought to the knowledge of Panchayat after the crime has already been committed by a family against its boy or girl, the Panchayat found itself helpless. The reason being that the family involved cited the step was taken for family’s pride.
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Searching for a life partner..?


Isn’t it surprising to notice the way individuals commit themselves to others for life with utter joy but regret later? These are the people who soon feel the craving to turn to others, just as they realise they made a wrong choice in haste.

On Sunday, while watching Serendipity I just felt like writing after all why and how we should or shouldn’t choose our prospective partner in life. After all life is not about moving from one flower to another like a butterfly only interested in the nector.

“We shouldn’t marry till we want to spread affection and sense of care in someone’s life instead of just expecting it. We shouldn’t marry anyone for money, as it may go any day. We shouldn’t marry for position, it has its own opportunity cost. We shouldn’t marry someone just beauty, it will fade within a few years and be replaced with a wrinkled face. We shouldn’t even marry someone for his or her romantic approaches towards us, as they often prove meaningless and superficial in actual life.

We shouldn’t accept someone for how he or she looked on special occasions but how that person feels to us in everyday life.
Instead, we must marry the one whom we may like forever spending time with, the one to whom we may turn to as the first or last resort when all things fail, somebody who is not just willing to do something or anything for us but also for whom we are happy doing anything or feel unhesitant giving up even our invaluable thing. For they joy of winning a heart lies in the joy of giving everything we can than just expecting it without gratitude.