By Sandeep Datta
It's human to love being related to nice people, especially, the ones who are also helpful. No wonder that's why we seek good people in our lifetime to share, for care, to feel accompanied and appreciated for just the way we are. Simply saying , we always like the ones who love us.
Though it takes years to come across such people, it takes momentary stupidness to lose them forever. It is so because many of us stop bothering to maintain relations with the same ease and tolerance after marriage. Many of us start befooling or using even good friends for mediocre purposes.
We forget when we connect with people, we get bound to some obligations too, irrespective of our marital status.
The kind of value we give to our friendly bondings in the days to come after marriage influences a lot, especially, our well-being and development in career and social life.
We all know relations revolve around hope, courtesies and responsibilities. But, in reality, the two important rather crucial factors are --sense of care for others and honesty.
Do we ever think why do the factors that matter in maintaining a relationship change after marriage?
At times, it appears the definition of our earlier relations has to be redefined and understood. The kind of acts, words or behaviour that may have been considered acceptable previously seem to be understood for their new meaning, impression and consequence with the same good friends.
We may have not hesitated being silly or obnoxious at times earlier with close friends. But after marriage such acts can have serious and long lasting impact. The same relations need to be reviewed from a far more sensitive perception than they used to be. The same people we may have known for years start observing us or vice-versa more sensitively and, frankly saying it, narrow-mindedly.
Not many of us realise but a good thing in old relations is that they take a new meaning and significance. The expectations and outlook to be in touch with each other changes. The turn the windows of ultimate hope, motivation and joy at times.
But call it the awkwardness or strangeness in relations, due to mean expectations, opportunistic telephone calls and over smartness to get maximum out of each other that we face long-cherished and unforgettable relations' gradual death.
Sadly, we realise what we lost and how much treasured people we simply let vanish from our lives, only after losing them forever. It takes years to understand what we lost were our hard-earned relations and individuals who existed when there wasn't the present ones.
Forgiving or ignoring each other's occasional over smart behaviour suddenly turns an impossible task. The reason being that many of us start living with a misunderstanding that now we have 'A Permanent Alternative'.
Unsurprisingly, sooner or later we realise what we lost so suddenly being impatient was something we should have actually valued and treasured the most. For marrying someone or having one's little family doesn't mean that we may never require the ones who were our confidantes; always standing by our side and, most importantly, who always sincerely cared for us.
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