‘Honour killings’ a scar on civilized society

By Chaudhary Sandeep Datta

Living in today’s world where the proverbial thin line between love and lust seems fast vanishing, many Indian villages are cautious on attempts that threaten their family values and reputation being eroded by individuals’ amorous urge.

Though largely disapproving any justification given in support of taking extreme steps like ‘Honour Killings’, one can feel there’s a tacit approval in many villages for stringent measures to safeguard the ancestral village culture and family life.

The Panchayat that often comprise the wisest men of all communities residing in a village also finds itself too restricted to act justifiably against barbarism when the perpetrators cite the compelling reason being family and village’s pride.

Honour killing depends upon the nature of crime and families involved. In case of objectionable relations, the entire village may get driven to support it. Any aggressive or illiterate family may see killing the guilty couple or person as the only option to bring end to the matter. But any restrained or non-aggressive family may expel or disown the guilty member in same circumstances.

Besides, there are also politically motivated killings or for dictating one’s upmanship. But it is also true that, in case of a boy, the family asks him to mend his ways. In case of a girl, the same family’s preferred approach can be or is generally quite harsh.

“There have been instances at different villages where brothers killed their guilty sister and the father committed suicide out of shame. Some of the families, eager to demonstrate their muscle power, settle objectionable relations-related matters by killing their daring member. But other families, not having that much guts or mindset, would marry off the guilty person to some far off place to keep their family reputation intact and also keep the problem child away,” said Chaudhary Azad Singh Bidhuri of Jasola Village near Apollo Hospital in Delhi, while adding that usually, honour killing is a collective decision.

Honour killings are often done to set precedence and scare anyone daring to spoil village culture which disapproves relations not based on the unwritten village guidelines or any relation that may show village in poor light.

“No way the ‘honour killings’ can be justified in today’s world. Instead there could be social boycott of any unwanted person. Actually, such acts are generally taken to set a trend mostly by the most illiterate people. It’s also true that it is usually done as a family decision. I don’t believe any Panchayat comprising men of wisdom can be party to such a heinous act. If it has to take such a decision, it is only under intense social pressure of the village. But often it is the family concerned which resorts to prove its faith in ‘reputation’ by going so barbaric and killing their own flesh and blood,” Yudhweer Singh Chauhan, a freelance journalist and resident of Jasola Village.

In villages, there are many unwritten rules that include marrying in only specified villages, not conducting marriage within one’s own village as girls and boys of a village should treat each other as part of one joint family and thus behave like brothers and sisters, respecting the village way of life and abiding by Panchayat’s wisdom.

Anyone found going against its way of life and reputation is debarred from society, the family supporting the person also faces social boycott by villagers.

“We need to understand our villages exist as a structure where people have been living since generations with family elders. In cities, people have started living together though they originally belong to different places. So, in cities, people have no sense of attachment with each other’s family but in villages it does exist,” said Chaudhary Surinder Singh Bidhuri, resident.

“Parents of any marriageable person, in cities, often evaluate a family’s goodwill by its wealth. But, in villages, it is not the money but one’s existing reputation and goodwill in the society that earns him social respect,” Bidhuri added.

Another unwritten rule in village system is to settle issues including cases related to betrayal in money-lending, property disputes, social relations or love marriages in objectionable castes or relations have to be solved within the village’s Panchayat. Anyone going against the Panchayat’s verdict and getting approval from courts as per law instead of village culture, risks a social boycott.

“Even if the court gives its decision in favour of a person or couple, in cases related to love marriages or other social issues, the person or persons involved is socially boycotted. He stays in the village but is not allowed to participate in any social function. He has to live on his own till the boycott continues. It is only after a public apology after some years that he is given consideration to be included back socially in village,” Chaudhary Raghubir Singh Nambardar of Jasola Village.

For villagers, their old way of life remains the supreme thing. Their accepted norms and rituals defining its culture are abiding for everyone residing here.

“Anyone found contradicting village culture has to leave the place and live elsewhere as per his wished lifestyle. If denied, he or she faces expulsion either from the village or social boycott for his of her entire family for rest of the life at times,” Ch. Raghubir added.

“Anyone getting involved in any illicit relation, in a marriage relation or before that is prohibited to live in the village. Anyone seeking approval of his way of thinking or logic through court is often left alone in the village. One can live but cannot be part of the village as its member. For, the society in village doesn’t embrace such a person anymore and hence the social boycott,” said Chaudhary Jagansingh Pradhan of Jasola Village.

“A marital relation based on village culture gets acceptance and is also protected from falling apart. When need arrives, the rights of the wife are first protected by village elders and the man is expelled from the village,” said Chaudhary Moolchand Nambardar of Jasola.

In villages, Panchayat’s decision is the ultimate for all. It is usually in urbanized village that the concerned parties can seek refuge from the courts on being disappointed by Panchayat’s decision.

Though no civilized society can approve killing in the name of foolish honour but it’s also a fact that when any consensus-based request is presented for approval before the Panchayat or any authority in the world, it is respected at times. It cannot be outright ignored. In many villages, there have been incidents when the matter was brought to the knowledge of Panchayat after the crime has already been committed by a family against its boy or girl, the Panchayat found itself helpless. The reason being that the family involved cited the step was taken for family’s pride.
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